Preliminary findings suggest the decommissioned observatory may only be authorized to grant wishes involving the fastest and most energetic explosions in the universe.
Researchers say the remaining 9 percent consider themselves marine biologists and plan to read the study's full methodology once someone summarizes it for them.
Researcher says preregistration is complete, although she concedes a sample size of three is 'underpowered but honestly the best I've been offered in years.'