Study Finds 71% Of Adults Will Abandon Anything To Stop Microwave Before It Beeps

COLUMBUS, OH—A study released Tuesday by the Gorsline Institute for Household Acoustics found that 71% of adults will abandon any task to sprint across the kitchen and stop the microwave at 0:01 so it never gets to beep. Abandoned tasks included phone calls, showers and, in one documented case, a wedding toast.

The study observed 1,140 participants in 312 kitchens over 18 months. Researchers recorded peak sprint speeds of 9.4 mph.

"The beep is the most avoided sound in the American home," said lead researcher Dr. Marguerite Ellery-Voss, 54. "Smoke detectors, car alarms, a kettle. People tolerate all of those. They will not tolerate three tones from a box containing soup."

Researchers also documented one participant hurdling a sleeping dog with a phone still pressed to his ear. "He did not drop the call," Ellery-Voss said. "He said 'hold on' in midair."

The same subjects took an average of 11 minutes to answer an actual doorbell. Another 23% did not answer at all and instead watched the door "until it stopped."

The full 212-page study notes a margin of error of plus or minus 3 mph on the sprint figure. It also notes that the dog may have been awake. The two-paragraph press release rounds the finding to "nearly everyone." This reporter relied on it, as the clearer of the two documents.

"If you let it beep, it means it won," said Dale Prewitt, 47, of Westerville. Asked what happens when the beep finishes, Prewitt said he did not know. "I've never let it get there," he said. "I'm not going to start now."

A follow-up study on what happens after the beep has been postponed indefinitely. All 1,140 participants declined to remain in the room.