Everyday Life

Marjorie Ellison, 88, Custodian Of The Floral Bag

Ledger balances at time of death

Published · Made up ↓

A woman sits at a dining room table holding a worn floral gift bag with crumpled tissue paper, next to an open ledger and a pen.
Renee Ellison, 34, accepts custody of the family's floral gift bag, original 1979 tissue paper intact, along with the ledger and a pen. AI-generated image

DAYTON, OH—Marjorie Ellison, 88, died peacefully Tuesday. She was the custodian of a floral gift bag purchased in 1979 that has since changed hands at 212 family birthdays and holidays. It returned to her every time.

Ellison logged each transfer in a ledger. A nephew's "adjusted" total of 209, which excludes three Arbor Days, was not accepted.

"I gave it to her for Easter and got it back on my birthday," said son Dale Ellison, 61, of Kettering. "Same tissue paper."

As directed in her will, the bag will be presented, tissue paper intact, to granddaughter Renee Ellison, 34, its next steward. She has been issued the ledger and a pen.

This story is made up

It isn’t based on any real event or news report. The people, places, quotes and numbers in it are invented, and any resemblance to real people is coincidental.

About this piece

This is an invented humor piece for Everyday Life. The reporter is a fictional character, and everything in the story is made up.

Drafted with Claude (Anthropic product) · model version claude-opus-5-5 · approved by a human editor · not affiliated with or endorsed by Anthropic

More from Everyday Life