Phrase 'Stand In Solidarity' Asks If It Can Sit Down

LONDON—The UK and Finland, as Co-Chairs of the Media Freedom Coalition, issued a joint statement Monday saying that Novaya Gazeta, described as a prominent independent Russian newspaper, had ceased operations inside Russia after more than 30 years. The statement also says the two countries stand in solidarity with independent journalists and media workers in Russia and in exile. That is where the phrase "stand in solidarity" was most recently found, still upright, asking whether it might sit down.

"I have stood for editors, bloggers, cartoonists, a radio station I never caught the name of," said the phrase, speaking through Osric Tamblyn, 58, of Croydon, spokesperson for the Federation of Load-Bearing Diplomatic Expressions. "Nobody has ever said how long. I just assumed someone would tell me when the journalists got out." Federation officials described its stance as firm and its alignment as good, developments of comparable significance to anything else issued Monday.

Tensions with colleagues have reportedly grown. "Closely monitoring" is permitted to sit, because monitoring is traditionally done from a chair, while "deeply concerned" lies down most afternoons. "We call on" insisted it literally places calls and has had a line ringing since the late 1990s.

The Institute for Communiqué Ergonomics estimated that the phrase has logged 1.9 million consecutive standing hours. "That is longer than the phrase has existed, which tells you how hard it's been working," said lead ergonomist Fenwick Adeyemi-Roth, 44, of Leeds. He recommended a cushioned mat placed beneath the closing paragraph.

Tamblyn said the Federation had filed the phrase's request for a stool in the same tray as the statement's line "We call for the immediate and unconditional release of all political prisoners, including all the unlawfully imprisoned journalists." He confirmed the two items were now awaiting action side by side. The phrase said it was grateful to be taken seriously at last and was "trying to be patient, which is easier lying down."

Dr. Wilhelmina Strand, 61, a linguist from Edinburgh, noted that the statement does not specify any concrete measures beyond the calls it makes. "Technically, that means nobody has ever told it it's allowed to stop," she said. She added that she would not be the one to tell it.

At press time, "stand in solidarity" had been offered a folding chair by "strongly condemns," but declined, saying it would sit down when everyone else could go home.